Tears Are Falling in My Heart

This morning at 10:20AM our pug Daisy died. She was 15 ½ years old. She had an enlarged heart, her back legs were giving out, and she had breathing problems. She took lots of different medications. Yet, the breathing crisis she had this morning came unexpectedly. Our veterinary told us it was time. We did not want her to suffer. I was holding her in my arms and my wife, daughter and doctor Sara Thomas petted her. Then when we were ready Dr. Thomas gave her the injections.

A puppy in the arms of our son wearing a red shirt
Daisy came to us a little pug puppy 15 ½ years ago. Our son David, eleven years old at the time, was holding her. Today I held her for the last time.

Daisy was a sweet, friendly and funny pug who loved cuddling, eating and sitting on the sofa. She also loved sunbathing as well as sitting in front of the vent when it was cold. All our dogs loved her, and our Leonberger Bronco saved her life once. He protected her from an attacking young German Shepherd. Our Labrador Baylor and our German Shepherd Baby loved her. Our Japanese Shin loved her more than anything. They were always together. They made mischief together, they escaped together, and they went for walks together and at the dog park Ryu wouldn’t let any other dog be too friendly with Daisy. Later, our mini-Australian Shepherd Rollo loved her too. Unfortunately, Rollo is now alone. He is confused and sad like we are.

Our mini-Australian Shepherd Rollo on the left. Our pug Daisy on the right.
Rollo and Daisy in our red sofa. Rollo was one year old, and Daisy was 11 years old.

I wrote a poem in French, a language I am learning. I am not a poet. I think it is my first poem as an adult in any language. I chose French because everything sounds so much better in French. It rhymes/ I apologize for any errors.

Ce soir, il pleure dans mon coeur. (tonight, tear falls in my heart, pleure & coeur rhyme with fur)

Notre belle carline Daisy est mort (Our beautiful pug Daisy is dead)

Il est temps, dit notre docteur (It is time said our doctor)

Tu es parti dans un coup du sort (You are gone in a twist of fate)

Nous nous souviendrons toujours (we will always remember)

Ta gentillesse. Tes yeux aimants (Your kindness. Your loving eyes)

Tu auras pour toujours notre amour (You will forever have our love)

pour nous tu étais comme un enfant (to us you were like a child)

Below are two YouTube songs that express how I feel. The first one is in French “Je suis malade..” / I am sick without you, I am ugly without you, …. Warning this one is very sad. The second one is your love….to feel your love again… to feel you close once more… (no lyrics in song) by Ennio Morricone.

Je suis malade / I am sick … without you
to feel your love again
Our pug Daisy on top of the sofa. Her legs are dangling over the sofa and her tongue is out.
Daisy on the sofa after an exhausting day of doing nothing.
Our pug Daisy is stranding on the wood floor.
Our pug Daisy when she was young.
Daisy is sleeping in our son’s arms, and he is sleeping on the sofa.
Daisy our new pug puppy with our son David.
Our pug is leaning on vent located close to our wood floor.
Daisy liked to sit in front of the vent when it was cold or alternatively too hot.
Daisy our pug loved lying on her back and bathe in the sun.
Daisy loved sunbathing.
Our pug Daisy is wearing sunglasses.
Daisy in sunglasses.
Our Japanese Shin Ryu is on the left and our Pug Daisy on the right. They are sitting in our red suitcase.
Ryu and Daisy jumped into our suitcase to protest that we were leaving for a trip.
Our Pug Daisy is holding Ryu’s leash in her mouth. Ryu is our Japanese Shin.
Daisy is taking Ryu for a walk.
Our pug Daisy is lying on her back on the patio.
Daisy sunbathing on our patio in the backyard.
Daisy our pug is standing on kitchen floor tiling.
Daisy standing on our kitchen floor.
Daisy our pug is sitting on a red sofa.
Daisy on the red sofa.
Daisy our pug has a tissue box over her head.
Once when we came home Daisy met us in the doorway with a tissue box over her head. She had gotten her head stuck in a tissue box.
Our Leonberger is spread out on our leather sofa and Daisy our pug is walking in front of him.
Daisy decided to leave because Bronco our Leonberger was taking up too much room.
Daisy our pug is sleeping and resting her head on my wife Claudia’s knee.
Daisy resting her head on Claudia’s knee.
From left to right, Bronco, Ryu, Daisy.
Bronco our Leonberger, Ryu our Japanese Shin, and then Daisy our Pug.
Our Pug Daisy is sitting at the table to the left. She is wearing a blue birthday hat. Our Leonberger Bronco is on the right.
Daisy’s 11th birthday.
Daisy is sitting on our bed, and she is looking into the camera.
Daisy is sitting on our bed.
Daisy our pug (left) and Rollo our mini-Australian Shepherd (right).
Daisy and Rollo in the sofa.
Our daughter is sitting on her knees on the floor. Our mini-Australian Shepherd Rollo sits on her left and our Pug Daisy sits on her right.
Our daughter is petting Rollo and Daisy.
Daisy and Rollo are looking out the window. Daisy says : Rollo do you want to hear a joke? Rollo says : OK. Daisy says : Knock! Knock! Rollo says : Woof! Woof!, Woof!. Daisy says : Woof! Woof! Woof!.
Daisy and Rollo barking at the mailman + a joke.
Daisy is wearing a pink party hat. She is sitting in front of a cake and my wife is giving her cake.
Daisy’s 15th birthday.
Daisy is standing on the wood floor. She is wearing blue diapers with black suspenders.
Towards the end of her life Daisy had to wear diapers with suspenders.
Daisy our pug is sitting in a blue stroller.
Towards the end of her life Daisy had a hard time walking so she sat in a stroller during our walks.

Goodbye Daisy

Unknown's avatar

Author: thomasstigwikman

My name is Thomas Wikman. I am a software/robotics engineer with a background in physics. I am currently retired. I took early retirement. I am a dog lover, and especially a Leonberger lover, a home brewer, craft beer enthusiast, I’m learning French, and I am an avid reader. I live in Dallas, Texas, but I am originally from Sweden. I am married to Claudia, and we have three children. I have two blogs. The first feature the crazy adventures of our Leonberger Le Bronco von der Löwenhöhle as well as information on Leonbergers. The second blog, superfactful, feature information and facts I think are very interesting. With this blog I would like to create a list of facts that are accepted as true among the experts of the field and yet disputed amongst the public or highly surprising. These facts are special and in lieu of a better word I call them super-facts.

127 thoughts on “Tears Are Falling in My Heart”

  3. I am so sorry Thomas. My heart breaks for you and your family. I had a Pug mix years ago and they still remain my favorite type of dog. It doesn’t make it any easier when you know it’s coming either. She knew how adored she was and had the best life ever with your family. I feel bad for your remaining dog now, I’m sure he’s feeling a bit lost right now.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for your kindness Deanne and I am sorry for the loss of your Pug mix dog. Yes Rollo is clearly lost now. I can see it in his acting. Since he is not accepting of other dogs, he is now alone in the world, dog wise.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. Hi Thomas, I am so sad to read this post. Daisy was such an adorable little thing and I have really enjoyed reading about her. Your poem is very beautiful. I had to read the English as my French is very limited. I must say that you are amazing to be able to write a poem in French. Huge hugs to you and your family.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Robbie, and thank you for saying my poem is beautiful. Coming from you that means something. I am not fluent in French but it is easier to make it sound good in French, even for me.

      Like

      Reply

  7. Oh Thomas, I am so very sorry for your loss of your adorable Daisy. What a lovely life she had with you and Claudia and the kids. Your poem is a beautiful tribute. I enjoyed the photos through the years, so many hilarious and sweet memories! Sending you love. ❤️🐾

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  11. Oh, no… My condolences to you, Thomas. Daisy’s so loved. Thank you for sharing Daisy’s old photos with us. It must have been difficult to look back at them.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Elaine. We knew she did not have a lot of time left and yet it happened so suddenly. We are all mourning her today. Our veterinarian did a wonderful job guiding us. Breathing problems is a terrible way to go and therefore our veterinarian suggested that it was time. We did not want her to suffer. She left so many memories behind.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. I’m so sorry, dear friend!!! I loved all the pics of your precious girl. I’ve been through this kind of loss so many times I’ve lost count. In fact in 2018 from January through May I lost 4 of my seniors. The kind of grief you’re going through is so hard!!! My heart goes out to you. I usually allow myself 3 weeks of intense crying before I think about adopting again. I do this not because I’m ready but because my surviving cat is usually horribly depressed, and I know if I allow this to continue the cat’s immune system will be compromised and it will become sick (I’ve made this mistake before). Cry many tears, dear friend. Then in a few weeks consider adopting a new puppy for Rollo before his grief makes him ill. Much love to all of you!!! 🩷

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Yes I know you have gone through this so many times and you know. Thank you so much Laura for your kindness and support. Rollo is a complicated situation. He is grieving and he is alone now, but he is also hostile to all other dogs. We don’t know what to do about that.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. You know? I had this exact problem when I lost those 4 cats in a 5 month period. I went from a cat herd of 5 to one. The remaining cat had lost not only all his cat buddies BUT also his best friend. He was a big, strong, healthy ginger boy but he was so lonely and sad he fell into a depression within 2 months. Suddenly he was sick with all kinds of ailments. Ideally you’d think I could get him another adult male kitty to buddy with. But like Rollo, he was hostile to all males. So I decided to do the exact opposite and it worked!! I adopted a female kitten 8 weeks old. Kittens go through what I call the “kitten stupid” stage for the first 5 months of life. They also fall madly in love with the older cat even if the cat hates the kitten. This doesn’t phase a kitten stupid kitten. lol!! She fell madly in love with my old ginger boy and would not leave him alone. He despised her at first but she was so relentless he finally gave up. He realized he could bat her around like a toy and she’d just keep coming back for more. It was hysterical!! He ended up having the time of his life playing with her. He passed away the next year from old age. But I think those 8 months he spent playing with her were some of the happiest of his life. So my advice is not to get a male dog for Rollo. Get a 8-10 week old female puppy. Puppies are “puppy stupid.” She will fall madly in love with Rollo, pester the daylights out of him, and he will eventually give up and realize how much fun he can have with a puppy that has the same high energy level he has. Plus, she’s female (like Daisy). Before long they will be best buddies and his sadness will be a distant memory!! 🩷

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    2. Thank you Laura. That is a great and beautiful story, and thank you for the kind advice. There are a few things that complicates our situation though. We really would like a Leonberger as the next dog and they are much bigger than Rollo. A puppy Leonberger will be double as big as he is when he/she turns four months. Also Rollo is very hostile to both male and female dogs he does not know. We’ve tried. I think that at first we need to train Rollo to become accepting of other dogs, one way or the other. I think he is going to have to be alone for a while. But we will certainly think about what you said and see if we can use the advice.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. You’re very welcome! I can see your point. If you want a huge dog like a Leonberger, even a puppy would eclipse Rollo in size in no time. lol!! On the other hand socialization training for Rollo is always a good idea. I look forward to following your future posts to see how Rollo is doing and how you solve this issue. Good luck, dear friend!! 🩷

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    3. Yes you are right. I think we have start with socializing training with Rollo. He even attacked the neighbor’s bernadoodle once when he got loose, a dog much bigger than him. He is clueless. I guess after pestering Bronco for two years and getting away with it he doesn’t realize how small he is. He is five years old, no longer a puppy, so it will be a little harder.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. You’ve got your work cut out for you. lol!! But almost any dog can be trained. It just takes the right kind of training or combination of training. Fortunately, there’s so much out there now, especially for Rollo’s breed because it’s such a popular breed. If I were you I’d start with adult dog socialization videos on YouTube. Those are so helpful!! I watch them all the time. Here’s a link for a good one to start. If that doesn’t work, you can always hire a trainer. They can work wonders too. Good luck!! 🩷

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    4. Thank you so much Laura. It think the advice in that video was very good advice. The Australian Cattledog isn’t the same as an Australian Shepherd but they are both energetic working dogs that tends to nip. I will keep that advice in mind as we start working on Rollo. It is so great that you found this for us. I really appreciate your kindness.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  14. Heartfelt embrace of light to you and all your family, Thomas. It’s always hard when we have to keep going without them. They truly never leave; they are always around, for they know they belong in our hearts!! Blessings and light to all, Daisy included!! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  19. So sorry for your personal loss, Thomas! I can understand your feelings. My heart breaks for you and your family. Love and blessings 🙏💐🌹

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  21. Oh, Thomas, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Daisy was the best, and I loved all the times you wrote about her and showed us your pictures. My heart is broken for you and your family. Sending virtual hugs for you all.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  22. Oh no. So sorry to hear of your dear Daisy’s passing. It’s always hard to say good-bye. Your poem is so heartfelt and beautiful. May the good memories you have of little Daisy relieve some of the sadness. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  24. Oh Thomas, I am so sorry. Your tender goodbye and the photo journey are both heartbreaking and heartwarming. She had a wonderful life with you and your family. Blessings to you and yours. ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  26. It is obvious that Daisy had a great life, Thomas. You did the best for her in life and in the next phase. It is heartbreaking to have to make decisions that separate us from our loved ones. Yet your love of Daisy compelled you to do what was best for her. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope the happy memories of your time with Daisy will soon take the place of the pain you feel today.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. We have a very good veterinarian, Dr. Sara Thomas, who tells us when it is time. She loves our dogs. She does not want the dogs to suffer and we certainly don’t, but it is difficult. Thank you so much John for your kind and supportive words.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  27. I’m so sorry, Thomas, that you lost yet another family member of the four-legged variety. Having gone through this inevitable stage of sharing my life with a pet, I know the heartache and the Wikman family are feeling right now. I’ve had to say goodbye to both a cat (in ’93) and a dog (in 2003), and all these years later, I still feel sad when their anniversaries of “crossing the Rainbow Bridge” fall. (In fact, one of those is coming on Eclipse Day.)

    My deepest condolences to you and your family, my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Yes it is not easy. We knew she did not have a lot of time left but we still weren’t ready. I am sorry for the loss of your cat and your dog. It is heartbreaking. Thank you so much for your kindness and support Alex.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. I don’t think we’re ever 100% ready for this sad situation. I still get weepy-eyed when I think about Natasha (my cat) and Mary Joe (my dog). And, quite frankly, I’m sort of glad that I can’t afford to have pets…I’m not sure I could go through that kind of loss again.

        In any case, I’m thinking about my friends in Dallas, TX, who are in mourning for their beloved Daisy. Hugs to you from chilly New Hampshite.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

    2. Yes you are right Alex. It is a difficult thing to go through, and we still think about and mourn the dogs we lost in the past. The toughest one to get over is Baylor, our Labrador. His death was so cruel and unnecessary. For us it is still worth it though. I really appreciate your thoughts and kind words. I hope New Hampshire will warm up soon.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Yes you are right. Putting down a pet is so difficult. Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words Dawn. That you found my poem touching certainly mean something coming from you.

      Like

      Reply

  29. My chihuahua Sandy and I send our heartfelt condolences to you and your family. May Daisy rest well until you meet again.

    Also, your poem is absolutely beautiful!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Lisa. That you found my poem beautiful certainly mean a lot coming from you. For your info there are a couple of poets in the comments above, Dawn and Robbie/Roberta and Kaushal “KK” also write poetry. In case you want to connect. Again thank you so much Lisa.

      Like

      Reply

  33. O Thomas, what a loving tribute. That face. May you continue to feel her delight. The grief I can feel at the loss of a beloved creature never fails to stun me. Sending love to all of you.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  34. To loose a loved pet is a different kind of pain. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Someday… I believe, we’ll all meet our beloved four legged friends in another world. Daisy had a wonderful family and life with you guys. Sincere condolences, and big hugs.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  40. I’m so sorry to hear this, Thomas. The loss of our loved ones always breaks our hearts. Your photographic tribute to Daisy is wonderful, and I hope it brings back many precious memories for you and your family. It’s comforting to know how she was loved and cared for throughout her life. What more can a pup hope for. Hugs to you all.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      1. Unfortunately the price of life and love are loss. Not that that makes it any easier only that we are brave to love. Especially given how dogs only get better yet live such short lives ❤️‍🩹

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  45. Thank you da-AL. Those are wise words. Dogs live short lives. The large ones, like Leonbergers live even shorter lives. Luckily the Leonberger Health Foundation International have improved the life span for Leonbergers and other large dogs. Pugs is another breed that could live longer. The short nose is not helpful.

    Like

    Reply

  47. Very sorry to hear about Daisy. It’s always hard even when you know it was the right thing to do. The other day I was talking to my dad and my aunt about when we had to put Dennis to sleep (we were talking about end-of-life stuff for humans and of course that led into talking about it for dogs) back in 2018 and how he spent his last minutes in our laps eating delicious butter chicken, and I literally couldn’t finish a sentence about it,.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. It is heart wrenching. I am so sorry for your loss of Dennis. Daisy died in my lap as well, but we did not have butter chicken. Both Daisy and Dennis died feeling loved and that matters a lot.

      Like

      Reply

  48. My wife says there is a special place in heaven just for pugs. She has said goodby to 5 over the years, her heart broken each and every time. It took her at least 4years since Linus passed away before she got Jackpot. She has had other breeds, but the Pugs seem to be her dearest. I won’t tell her about your Daisy but if I did she would know your pain and sympathize. I will do so, may your Daisy rest in peace

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  50. Pingback: Dog Portraits – Leonberger Life

Leave a reply to thomasstigwikman Cancel reply