Leonberger Adventures – Leonberger Life

Esther’s writing prompt: August 5th : Test

This AI generated picture shows two people sitting in the back seat of a car. A Leonberger is driving the car, and the man is holding a leash to the dog.

Photo of us taking a car for a test drive.

Today we started looking for a new car for our daughter, so we visited some dealerships and she test-drove some cars. This reminded me of when we bought our Subaru some years ago. We felt that it was very important that our Leonberger dog Bronco, or Le Bronco von der Löwenhöhle, which was his full name, was happy with the car. So, we let him take the car for a test drive. My wife and I sat in the back seat. Naturally, we had him in a leash. There are leash laws here in Dallas and we are not crazy.

More recently the Texas Legislature passed HB64 and SB14, which made Texas the first US state to allow dogs to drive. Any dog of any breed is allowed to drive a car as long as they are two years or older and are facilitated by a DDAD, a dog drivers assistance device. The Texas legislature isn’t crazy after all.

A DDAD is a device that reads traffic signs for the dog and takes cues from the dog’s body language to turn the car and control it in other ways. DDAD utilizes a multi layered neural network (deep learning style neural network, like LLMs) that has been trained using several thousand dogs that included all of AKC’s approved dog breeds as well as 100’s of mixed breeds. Rollo, our mini-Australian Shepherd, passed his driver’s ed test and now he has a driving license. In the picture below he is coming back from a visit to grandma and grandpa. He drove there all by himself.

Rollo our mini-Australian Shepherd behind the wheel.

Rollo coming back from a visit to grandma and grandpa. He is driving our old Toyota Prius. We are not letting him drive our new car. We are not crazy after all.

The True Story

OK, I must confess, the stories above are not entirely true and the picture of the Leonberger driving a car, that is not a photo of us. That is a picture I generated with the help of ChatGPT. So, the top part of this post is not 100% truthiness. However, below is the true story of when we bought our Subaru and our Leonberger Bronco was part of the decision.

Do you remember the old joke about the man who heard a woman speak to her cat as if the cat understood her? He thought it was so funny that he went home and told his dogs about it, and they laughed and laughed. Well, it sorts of happened at the Subaru car dealership. We had our Leonberger dog Bronco with us. He was going to help us test cars. We wanted him to be comfortable in the back seat.

Well, the salesman at the dealership told us a story about a woman who kept talking to her dog as if he was a person. He was laughing and told us that she was probably crazy. He put his finger to his temple and twirled it in circles to underscore his point. But we didn’t think his story was funny. I mean, what dog owner doesn’t talk to their dogs?

Anyway, that day at the dealership, we let Bronco walk in and out of the various cars we were considering, and he sat in the back seats. The salesman didn’t seem to mind. But at the end we told him that Bronco had told us which car to buy. I mean in practice, you can say that it was Bronco who chose the car we bought. Maybe the salesman thought we were crazy too. Below are some photos of Bronco.

Our Leonberger dog is standing on a red sofa. He is stretching to give me a hug,

Very young Bronco is giving me a hug.

A big Leonberger head between the front car seats.

Bronco in the back seat. Going for a car ride. He is almost 13 years old.

Bronco in the back seat again. He is almost 13 years old.

The following story is an excerpt from an upcoming book about Leonbergers and especially our Leonberger Le Bronco von der Löwenhöhle and his many crazy adventures.

It was a quiet evening, and I was home alone. My wife, Claudia, was visiting her parents a few blocks away with Rachel, our daughter. Our son Jacob was meeting with his debate team; our other son, David, was visiting a friend.

I was making myself a ham sandwich in the kitchen when I suddenly felt a hand on my right shoulder. I startled and turned my head to face what I feared was an intruder, and there he stood on his hind legs—our Leonberger, Bronco. His big paw on my shoulder felt for a moment exactly like a human hand.

Bronco looked at me with his kind, wise eyes, then he looked at the sandwich. Then he turned his head toward me again and held my gaze. At that moment I understood what he wanted. I cut the sandwich in two and gave him his half.

I should explain that we had a problem with a trespasser at that time, which was the reason I was startled. This trespasser would sit outside our bedroom window at night and make threats and shout obscene comments at Claudia when I was not present. At first, though, we didn’t know where the threats and comments were coming from. I doubted Claudia’s accounts of these incidents, especially because she thought the voice might be coming from within our bedroom, perhaps via an electronic speaker. I thought she was just having nightmares.

Then one night I heard it myself—a voice screaming, “I am going to burn your house down!” Just as Claudia had said, it sounded like it came from within our bedroom, almost as if it were right next to me.

After Claudia and I went through our “Oh, so now you believe me” routine, I started looking under our bed and inside the heating and air-conditioning vents for hidden speakers and/or microphones. It was hard to believe that someone had planted these things in our bedroom, but that seemed to be the case.

Then it finally dawned on me. Next to the headboard of our bed, on Claudia’s side, just inches from her pillow, is a window. At night, when the blinds are lowered and the slats are partially open, you can see in, even if we have just a few lights on in the house. But, of course, under these conditions, you can’t see anything that might be outside.

I ran out the front door and around the back of the house, and there, right in front of our bedroom window, was one of our lawn chairs. The trespasser had climbed our fence, taken the chair, sat down in front of the window, and spied on us. Whenever I left the room, he would shout obscenities and threats at Claudia. When his face was planted in front of our window, he was just two or three feet away. This was why the voice felt so close. This had been going on for two weeks. We were happy to have finally figured it out, but we realized we had a problem.

A trespasser looking in through our bedroom window at night (illustration by Naomi Rosenblatt). Our Leonberger Bronco saved us from this threat. — Trespasser at night spying on us through our bedroom window (illustration by Naomi Rosenblatt)

We talked to our neighbors about the situation, and they told us that the trespasser had terrorized them as well. He had been quite busy looking through bedroom windows at night. People in the neighborhood were scared. I called the police, who told us they could do nothing unless the man was caught in the act or he committed a crime other than trespassing.

Therefore, I decided to hire private investigators. I found them in the phone book. Phone books still existed back then.

The investigators told me that they typically spy on people suspected of cheating on their spouses, so this would be a more interesting job for them. The plan was for them to hide behind the bushes in our backyard and in a dark car parked on our street. When the man appeared, they would record him on video. They had a lot of fancy equipment and instruments, including big microphones, cameras, and metal detectors. They reminded us of Ghostbusters with all their technology and enthusiasm. They clearly loved their job. Unfortunately, though, the trespasser didn’t show up, so after a couple of days I decided to let the investigators go.

However, I soon figured out who the trespasser was. I started paying attention to what was going on in the neighborhood, and one evening, I noticed a strange looking but relatively young man, apparently homeless, who seemed to be stealthily roaming our neighborhood. I did not confront him, because I had no proof.

But a few days later, I heard shuffling noises outside our bedroom window. The trespasser was finally back. This time I sent Bronco out to chase him, and he did. Like the detectives, Bronco was enthusiastic but didn’t catch him. Still, he chased the man off. Having a big bearlike dog rushing toward you at night is probably a bit unnerving, even if the dog just wants to lick you. We never experienced or heard about the problem after this event, so Bronco may have helped the entire neighborhood.

A couple of weeks later, while walking Bronco on a neighboring block, I saw the homeless man across the street, at a bit of a distance. He stared at us in fright. Bronco just calmly looked at him without barking. The man was clearly terrified of Bronco, and he ran away.

But despite the nightmare the homeless man had inflicted on us, I felt sorry for him. My guess is that he was suffering from mental illness and that he had had a very tough and lonely life.